Citing strong headwinds in the construction sector and increased lending due to low interest rates, local real estate expert Smuckers the cat issued positive projections for the “kitty condo” market for the first half of 2017.
“There’s no concern about a softening of the market,” Smuckers said after cleaning himself abruptly for 10 minutes. “This next generation of cats is accustomed to a certain standard of living, and it’s creating new value in the space.”
Indeed, newer kitty condo designs are far more featured-packed than previous iterations, which commonly featured a 2 or 3-level design with a standard foundation and offset floors for jumping.
“Well, we’re cats, so it’s never really enough,” Smuckers said when discussing the new expectations for cats. “Have you ever left an interaction with a cat and thought ‘ah, now he’s got what he wants.’ You haven’t.”
New kitty condo designs come with standard features such as private bedrooms and licking closets, as well as a “crows nest” – a high turret-like tower where the cat has a 360 degree vantage point to gaze condescendingly on anyone in the room.
“That private bedroom with a porthole is a must for me,” says rescue cat Shamrock. “I need that veil of darkness so that when my ‘owner’ tries to interact with me, I can quickly claw at her exposed skin under the shadows.”
“I make the rules,” added Shamrock.
Some kittens aren’t sold, however. Citing a growing a awareness of the despair of their parents’ generation, younger cats have gravitated toward more minimalist designs.
“It just seems like a waste,” said 3 month-old ZuZuBee. “We’re kind of generally unhappy, and an extra carpeted ladder here and there, or another feather tickler, or whatever…”
“We still poop in tupperware.”