Amongst Kings

I really enjoy when scammers take the business angle of being an exec from Craigslist, mainly because I can’t even fathom what this exec would be like – does he office out of a canoe? Is he aware his site has the look and feel of a diner napkin?
So you can imagine my joy when I get to respond to one of these famed executives. As always, spam letter first (unedited), and then my response.
_________________________
Hello My name is Jim, Ceo of Craigslist. We’ve recently partnered up with Apple for a one-time promotional event today, we are giving away complimentary Apple iPad to randomly selected folks who have posted an ad on Cl. You have been chosen as one of our newest winners for today. We randomly choose numbers to match up with ads on Craig’s list and your ad matched with our latest drawing.We have now partnered up with Apple to advertise their hottest product yet, the Apple iPad 2. Once yet again, we have been running this campaign for one-day only. All you need to do is (click here) to go to our site generated for this promotion and enter your email to obtain yours for free. Simply make sure you enter your email therefore we may locate our records to make certain that we have reserved one for you. That is it!Congrats on winning a free Apple iPad 2 (valued at $499). In case you could have any question or issues, feel free to email me back. However, you should claim your free iPad 2 first to guarantee one will be reserved for you personally prior to the deadline ends. We do understand that you may possibly not receive this email until after the deadline, however, we suggest you check out the web site and enter your email to see if we still have yours on hold, which we often-times do because others have not claimed theirs on time.Jim

CEO, Craigslist

_______________

Jim,
Thank you so much for emailing me personally. I’m a bit shocked to be speaking with you, the CEO of Craigslist. I’m mostly shocked that your name isn’t Craig, but that’s neither here nor there.
Not many CEOs would personally engage a commoner such as myself in a daily prize drawing program. Kudos to you on your customer engagement. Since your site is free and about as basic as possible, it’s totally understandable to spend considerable time, money and effort to keep people coming back.
I know Apple is incredibly selective, and as one of Fortune’s Most Admired Companies, it makes complete sense that they would partner with a stripped-down bartering website known for good used power tool bargains and sketchy massage services. Who wouldn’t want to attach their name to that?! Apple with another ace move!
I am SO excited about my Apple iPad 2 (valued at $499)! To be honest, your email could not have come at a more perfect time. You might not be aware of this, but I am actually a direct descendent of Scandinavian royalty. It gets a bit complicated once I map out the family tree (my “great aunt” is technically a very old porcelain jewelry box), but I’m basically the equivalent of a prince. I have multiple crowns to prove this in my personal vault.
Although I have millions to my name, I’ve lost my passport on my most recent trip to Kenya, and am trapped. If you’d be so kind to respond to this email with your address, and perhaps spot me a few dollars to help me get a new passport, I would gladly repay the favor with 10X your donation, as well as 3 precious stones of your choice (and yes, lapis is an option!).
You’re the CEO of Craigslist. I’m Scandanavian royalty. You’re the equivalent of a King, and I will be some day (as long as my “cousin,” a prize mule, dies soon). Let’s just call this a diplomatic exchange and make it happen.
I eagerly await your response.
Many thanks,
Jak
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