Asking for a Friend

Dear Applicant,

Thank you for replying to the advert placed on craigslist. How are you today? I believe you are having a great day? I am currently looking for someone who can handle my Personal business as a Part-Time Job.I will really like to meet up with you to talk about this job but I am currently away on a business trip but there is a test which i will like you to go through because i need a capable Personal Assistant. I am in Scotland/Aberdeen so there will be no interview except for the form you will fill below.
1.Have you ever worked as a Warehouse Assistant ?

2.Can you communicate effectively and efficiently?

3.Will you be able to run errands 1:30 Hour/Min per day for and will be needed 3 days per week at any suitable time in 3 day’s in a week?

I will prepay you in advance to do my shopping. I will also have my mails and packages sent to your address.If you will be unable to stay at your house to get my mails, I can have it shipped to a post office near you and then you can pick it up at your convenient time.When you get my mails/packages; you are required to mail them to where I want them mailed to. You don’t have to put any funds out of you pocket, all you have to do is have packages shipped to your house and do my shopping.You are allowed to open the packages to know content.The content of the packages are computer and electronics, ,clothings, business and personal letters. All expenses and taxes will be covered by me.I will pay $300 weekly as I need your service because I am constantly out of town on business as I own an electronics and clothing store but want to open another store in Houston when I return in October so this process will be going on untill then. If you don’t
mind,I will meet up with you when I return and then we can talk about the possibility of making this a long term. Please kindly let me know if you are able to handle the position.I will email you the list and pictures of what to shop for when I am ready no heavy packages are involved! You can do the shopping at any nearest stores. You will be shopping for Electronics and clothings. If I were to mail you money to do my shopping plus upfront payment for your service, where would you want it mailed to? Your full info for payments.
Requirements:-
You must be Reliable, detail-oriented, and write reasonably well, and have access to a computer with Microsoft Word and a reliable Internet connection,must be 21 year old and above , no experience needed .Application info needed:-

Full Names :
Address with zip code :
city :
Age :
Phone # :
Gender :
Present Job :
Email:

Alternative Email :
Please, let me know if you are able to handle the position Thanks for your anticipated action. And kindly get back to us if you are interested , as we hope to hear back from you soon.
I await your prompt reply

Best Regards,
Jason

________________

From the desk of the boss:

Jason – Your offer could not have come at a more critical life junction for me. I am well and thank you deeply for asking. If you believe I am having a great day, then I will try to and muster equal faith to believe as well.

Just to clarify, is it a test or a form? Your response was unclear. Oh wait, is that the test…? HAVE I ALREADY FAILED?!

Sorry about that. Tests make me nervous. In response to your questions:

Full Names : Alfonso Robeiro AKA Jeremy Finch AKA  Starfish Jones AKA The Rhombus
Address with zip code: 27 paces past The Thicket, east of the tracks
City: Norfolk
Age : TBD
Phone # : 713-877-6757 (Fax only)
Gender : Current, or past? TBD
Present Job : Entrepreneur (A few gigs away from sustainable magic act)
Email: webuiltthiscityonMAGIC@altavista.com

In answer to your earlier questions:

1. Yes I have, if by “warehouse” you mean “Starbucks in an airport.”

2. I once wrote a book report on The Hungry Caterpillar, so, yes.

3. Yes and yes. In fact, 1:30 hours is my optimal time for effectiveness in errands.

Not only am I qualified, but I share your unique passion for a combo electronics/clothing store. In fact, I actually own several patents for electronic clothing. Picture this – you love to play keyboard, but hate lugging your Casio around, right? Fret no more – the keyboard shirt is your solution! It’s been a big hit within my family, and I have several other prototypes in the works (Dulcimer Pants, Woodwind Beret, Mandolin Chaps, etc.).

Additionally, I have access to a computer, but won’t be able to send any communications after 9PM because that’s when the Apple store near my house closes.

As far as prepaying me in advance goes, could you just wire that directly to my overseas account? The only reason I ask is because I am actually of royal descent, but have been stranded here in the states for some time after a silly visa mix up. I assure you that, once I receive your funds and return home, I’ll pay you back 10X. All I need at this stage is your bank routing and account number, and we’ll be in business.

I have been to Scotland before and understand their primitive lifestyle isn’t conducive for interviews, so we can commune via email.

I await your prompt reply.

JJ6K

 

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